lame​-​o

by mer

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1.
03:56
2.
01:28
3.
02:32
4.
5.
02:25
6.
01:43
7.

credits

released July 4, 2016

s/o to love and depression

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mer Minneapolis, Minnesota

art student doing the best they can

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Track Name: lame-o
if i knocked the dust off the ceiling
i don’t know what i’d do
i think the whole room would fall down
i think the whole room would fall,
we’d get trapped under the rubble
but that’s okay cause i’d like to stay
under this roof, just me and you and our crushed skulls
for the day
i don’t mind bleeding in your arms
i don’t mind bearing your scars
i like the lipstick and red marks
that you planted on my forehead

heres my little finger
keep it in your knapsack
pull it out when you miss it in your grasp
i give you my whole hand to hold but i need that
to write you notes and wave when i come home to see you

before i go
kiss my nose
hold my torso
i’m a lame-o

i can’t let go
say hello
i’m alone
a lonely lame-o

if i bought a house with a backyard and a tree
would you raise a dog with me
and annoy our neighbors
we’d stay up till all hours
looking for danger

and theres no thing i wouldn’t do
to spend the day spending time with you
i hope you know

that i won’t bury my woes
i’ll send them in an envelope
just so you know how i feel
send a box of your clothes
so i can smell your cologne
and roll in it like tobee -
roll in it like its my own

before i go
kiss my nose
hold my torso
i’m a lame-o

i can’t let go
say hello
i’m alone
a lonely lame-o

without you i’m so low
left in the afterglow
i’m only so-so
just a lame-o

you’re an angel
you’re my halo
and i’m your lame-o
Track Name: graduation
i wasn’t planning on crying
on graduation
but look at that -
i’m tearing up
so bad

my childhood friend didn’t hug me, she’s mad
my best friend’s in pittsburg, i miss them so bad
my favorite person is busy (the hate me, maybe)

so i just listen to frankie
and clean my room
and hope they come over later
Track Name: untitled ?
[can u hear my dog ?]

i’m dead if anybody finds out what i think
about organized religion and nihilist theories
i don’t believe in meaning, i don’t believe in fate
i won’t pretend to believe
in god anymore
we’re all alone, we’re insecure
we’re all alone -
there is no cure for a shitty life

it’s ok i’m alright

i’m dead if my mother finds out what i did
my brother doesn’t live at home anymore
my cousins are married,
i’m the youngest adult in this family -
what a lonely thing to be -
there’s no benefit to being 18
there’s no bright side that i can see
what a funny thing

it’s ok i’m living

we’re all alone, we’re insecure
we’re all alone - there is no cure
for a simple life

it’s okay i’m alright
i’m alright
Track Name: i wanna get struck by lightning
i wanna get struck by lightning before i leave
tonight
i’ll sacrifice the feeling in my feet
for awhile
i’m not afraid of heart failure
i’m afraid of losing sleep
tonight

i wanna get struck by lightning before i leave
this time
i’m over all the effort it takes to be
so bright
i’m not so much afraid of being tired
as i’m afraid of being alive
every night
for the rest of my life

it’s not safe
but the water is fine

i wanna get struck by lightning
[mmm]
Track Name: if you want
all i ever want to do
is sit by you
if you wanted me to

never want to overstep
don’t wanna regret anything
but if you wanted me to
maybe i’d tell the truth

i love you

i’d keep you in my suitcase
but you’ve got places to be and things to see
you deserve to be free

i’d keep you to myself
but that’s selfish, so selfish, so selfish of me
you deserve to be free

id take you to the city
but you’ve got bigger and better places to be
than with me

you deserve to be free

I’m sorry

you’re sweet and 17
and you’re better than i was at that age
you’re better than me

you deserve to be free

i'm sorry

stay with me
Track Name: 3 a.m.
i was a loner before i met you
i was tired of being alone
what a boring, pathetic story
what an effective anesthetic
hope you can stay awake long enough to hear me out
i’m waking the dead
but i’m dead if my mother hears
its 3 am
i’m head over heels
i’m trying to heal
but i kind of don’t want to
its 3 am….

wouldn’t it be better if we held hands
your slender fingers
hold my attention
you’re messing with my complexion
and did i mention
its 3 am…..

maybe i’ll call you in the morning
when i feel like i can stand
what a stupid, pathetic plan
what a stupid, pathetic plan
Track Name: [some place called] home
i need a shower and a bath
i take both when i’m sad
or dirty
i happen to be sad
and dirty
tonight.

earlier
i rode my bike
it’s a little to small for me -
i’m a little too tall, my knees
hit the handlebars
i fell and i scraped my knees
i cried and i brushed the dirt
out of my eyes,
and i rode home.

i wanna go home.

i need an aspirin and a melatonin
i take two when i’m sad
or broken
there’s an ache in my head -
i need to go to bed
i should go to to bed
i should go home..

i wanna go home.

i need a blanket and a mattress to hold me
they’re always here when i’m sad
or lonely -
you’re not here and i’m sad
and lonely
tonight….

earlier
i called my mom
she said she was proud of me -
she said that my dad would be
happy to hear from me
she said that my brother
was doing just fine
i said i was glad and i’m
doing just fine --
i’m fine too..
at least that’s half true.

(i’m fine too
at least thats half true)

i miss the playground in the park
i miss my best friend and the gas station
in the dark
i miss my bedroom and the doghouse
i miss the little forest in the backyard….

but it’s not as hard as it used to be